Saturday, November 21, 2020

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It’s late October, leaves fallen from the almond tree,

burned beige, surround the stone Buddha,


a pond of rippled petals a’float on autumn’s earth. 


Clear evening skies promise stars, darkening hills 

begin to flicker lighted windows. 


Kitchen sounds try their best to fill the house

not yet willing to let go its stillness.



**



Feet know each step

to be tentative. It’s why

they take turns.



**



Some poet said


a poem works like gravity. 


Is that because a poem slows and holds you 

before you know it does, then while you read 

or speak it, and even after you think 

you’ve put it down, still does that ?



**



Dark falls on the hillside, 

squeezes house lights


into being, along with the thought

of a cool glass of white wine.


What this has to do with autumn

and a steadily aging body

remains mystery.


But the wine was a good idea.



**



The lamp on the table aside the bed glows there 

and in each of the two panes of glass


in the sliding window across the room,

mirrored against the framed backdrop


of hills and homes peering through

from the other side, 


scattered distant windows 

a’light


with the first rays of this day’s sunlight.



**



The way


Even as a young man, pronouncements

and vows did not hold for me 


as did the interior click of decision-done

intuition, 


answer-rooted questions spreading light

around foot-claimed space, 


breezes smiling the way, as always they have, 

nodding the direction 


to what’s catching your attention 

anyway.



**



Like a leaf, I’m thinking it’s like a leaf, our life 

as individuals, an appendage of intention extended, 

extending, not so much held or holding, as stretched,

reaching out into all else extending there, larger intentions 

curling in return, working reciprocal links—like a leaf, 

not held, nor holding, but showing— 



**



Elections over, nothing settled,

         I turn to the ancients for guidance


I’ve been looking to broaden the scope

of my own part of the conversation lately,

but seem to have lost track of where I was

in the process, and for that matter, what

I thought the conversation to be, much less

who might have been on the other side,

at the table perhaps, even in the room,

to think of it, whatever it was, which is 

one way to say, I suppose, I’ve little more

to say any more, or so it feels. 


Except for the words, that keep trailing through 

of their own, that I follow, I do, more and more 

believing they belong not to me, but  

the 10.000 things the ancients spoke of

so often, that tell us of the world, of ourselves,

of what’s really going on.


At any rate, someone else will have to figure

whatever that other conversation was, its worth 

to continue or not, cause this old man is going 

for a walk, where earth’s arc meets the sky,

reconnect with what’s really going on.



**



Connecting with Issa


Morning coffee cools more quickly

these early November days, surprises

seasonally done, subtle announcements

of arrivals already occurred—bare feet

noticing chills that linger.


Don’t know with any certainty of course,

but do suspect that scholars and even

we’ll-meaning religious types tend

to over-work things a bit, posit realities,

differences, not so much really there.


Issa, for instance, famed haiku poet,

in that year he traced in verse, is said 

to have written of winter, but was alluding 

to his later, last years, yearning for re-birth.


Well, maybe. But metaphor and allusions

are meanings read-in to words that don’t 

themselves hold those meanings.


What we do know is that Issa curled his brush 

through that year’s fall and into its winter, while there,

and that his practice, time to time, was to utter 

Buddha’s name.


This is not to deny tradition, but to say, after all, 

it was cold, he was old, stars were likely, and indeed, 

the tradition, abundantly clear, as I’ve begun to see, 

is this: Issa, it’s cold here too now, and quiet, the wife 

still asleep. And though I’d thought to read, instead, 

as always, as overtime, like you, I write, and grow old 

knowing Buddha’s name.


Outside the wind blows. In here, both the coffee

and my feet feel the chill. 



**


the road to anarchy

          can be quite quiet


I wake later now than when I was younger,

those many years of unyielding sense of purpose 

slowly overtaken by life’s generalized plans, prompted 

perhaps unwittingly by an inexplicable forgetfulness 

a few years ago around setting the alarm, for a while

waking up pretty much as usual, until that slow 

and subtle transition where force of habit morphed 

into body-signaled needs, true movements, real,

like rain waters finding their way with earth’s surfaces, 

mutual relations at work, determined by whatever

happens to determine them, all depending, always 

working. 


And for what it’s worth, over all, once you’ve adjusted

to not being adjusted, there’s no going back.



**



Song for Hayden Carruth


And then there was, there is, Carruth,

wispy-bearded wonder with words that flow so

you’re forced to mouth them out, only to find 

they’ve brought you there, he’s brought you again 

there, to where he was, where he is—what the poem,

what the poet, is really about.



**



For awhile It’s been as if something

has been misplaced or the room changed, 

rearranged, or the window streaked with rains 

is dream and a bad eye getting no better

clouds haloes around where clarity once was.


And it’s been this way, muddled grey, all this time 

before this morning, before this morning’s opening

sky lifted the world of its weight


and, left freed, let free, the world again glistened, 


yes, again glistened true and close a remembrance 

of the feel of that touch our words cannot catch, 


the touch of the feel of the nearness of things, 

the presence of things so close as to always

and ever be before 


they come to be named, 


words and names called forth therefrom

to affirm—to mirror, to echo.



**



Deciding to study 

with Issa, I raise the pen,

take a breath.



**



The first of season’s rains

drive us inside to gather 

with our favored blankets.



**



Stars hide in the rain,

but houselights on the hillsides

do a nice job.



**



Penning the final poem

on the journal’s last page

under fast closing eyes.



**



Trees drop their leaves,

we our words—neither remain

all that long—the most to hope for,


the best maybe: 


fleeting beauty


noticed.


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